Another from anonymous

Where do all the socks go in the wash??

The things unknown

I don't know why I have been thinking about the unknown things of life and faith but for some reason I have:

a - What was the best thing before sliced bread?
b - Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
c - Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
d - Why do doctors call what they do "practice?"
e - Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but
when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
f - Why do tugboats push their barges?
g - Why do we accept their are thousands of stars yet touch a bench that says "Wet paint" to test it out?

Why why why?

1 - Did Mary ever tell Jesus off for teasing his siblings?
2 - Did Jesus ever graze his knee and cry?
3 - What happened to Jairus' daughter after Jesus raised her from the dead?
4 - Did the young boy get in trouble for giving his loaves and fish away?
5 - Did the young son and older brother ever become friends again?

Life is full of the unanswered and uncertain questions - yet the most profound, mystery of all - Does God love me? is unequivocally yes - wow now that is amazing!

A beautiful Story.. one I needed to hear

A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play around it everyday. He climbed to the tree top, ate the apples, took a nap under the shadow. He loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him.
Time went by. The little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree everyday. One day, the boy came back to the tree and he looked sad.
“Come and play with me,” the tree asked the boy.
“I am no longer a kid, I don’t play around trees anymore.” The boy replied, “I want toys. I need money to buy them.”
“Sorry, but I don’t have money. But you can pick all my apples and sell them. So, you will have money.” The boy was so excited. He grabbed all the apples on the tree and left happily.
The boy never came back after he picked the apples. The tree was sad.
One day, the boy returned and the tree was so excited. “Come and play with me” the tree said.
“I don’t have time to play. I have to work for family. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me?”
“Sorry, but I don’t have a house. But you can chop off my branches to build your house.” So the boy cut all the branches of the tree and left happily. The tree was glad to see him happy but the boy never came back since then. The tree was again lonely and sad.
One hot summer day, the boy returned and the tree was delighted. “Come and play with me!” the tree said. The boy said, “I am sad and getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give me a boat?”
“Use my trunk to build your boat. You can sail far away and be happy.” So the boy cut the tree trunk to make a boat. He went sailing and never showed up for a long time.
Finally, the boy returned after he left for so many years. “Sorry, my boy. But I don’t have anything for you anymore. No more apples for you.” the tree said.
“I don’t have teeth to bite.” the boy replied.
“No more trunk for you to climb on.”
“I am too old for that now.” the boy said.
“I really can’t give you anything. The only thing left is my dying roots.” the tree said with tears.
“I don’t need much now, just a place to rest. I am tired after all these years.” the boy replied.
“Good! Old tree roots is the best place to lean on and rest. Come, come sit down with me and rest.”

The boy sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears.

Kidnap the Cow!

Well my nephew and I had a discussion some time ago of how we might kidnap "Jackie the Cow" to save it from steak - here are Tom's excellent suggestions:

1 - On the day before it is killed we should destroy the machines/gadgets used to cull them and whilst the farmers and people are fixing them/getting new ones we put the cow in a harness and air-lift it out of the field by helicopter.

2 - When its about 10 months old we can go and visit and superglue some antlers on its head and put it in reins. We would also have to paint the nose red for the desired 'reindeer' effect. Hopefully, it will be around christmas then and say that we have hired a reindeer and was taking it to see 'Jackie' but when they got there it seemed that it had escaped. We were distraught ;)

3 - In the middle of the night we could take a big mole and make it dig a hole from your house to the field of which the cow is in. Then we simply let the mole go free to terrorize someone and lead the cow to your house. We would then have to hide it in the kitchen, stick a bow tie on it and say it's a waitress with abnormal growths.

4 - Seeing as the 3rd one could be hard to pull off, due to the fact that there are no such things as giant moles and we couldn't possibly get the cow to stand still on its hind legs long enough to be a waitress, lets make this one easier. We simply offer to kill it ourselves and instead inject it with anaesthetic so it falls asleep. Then we put it in your car and drive it to a nicer farmer's feild where you can promise that the farmer will go to heaven if he keeps quiet about the ever growing cow in his field. The perfect crime.....

5 - We could just pray that the cow doesn't get killed but in a freak thunderstorm it gets incredible magic powers and it transforms into a human and you make friends and Jackie 2 lives in your house and lives happily ever after... Somehow I don't think that one is going to work!!!

Well there is very little I can say in response really.....

it's tough

Sadly Nan passed away yesterday morning. For her it is a complete release and for that we are grateful. For us of course it is devastating. We have spent moments reflecting on her life and through this giving thanks for all she achieved. We will miss her more than any words on a blog can express. Today also my nephew Tom is having his leg sorted out involving another operation and probably more presents - he is an absolute star.

Well.. this could be a long update

Sorry yet again for the absence. I am not sure how much to write about the situation at the moment. It is entirely mixed though there is a great deal of sadness there are moments of amazing grace of God's provision and steadfastness - for that I am grateful and humbled.

So the good...
I did get a Wii for my birthday so can't wait to set it up and start playing. I may even beat my super in tennis if I practice though she will NEVER beat me in cow racing - Oh dear have I set a challenge here. Birthday was nice with a house full of folk and some wonderful gifts and cards, and still more today left on the doorstep.

The crowning of the Junior Church Queen on Sunday was a first and a highlight - we are blessed at Latchford with some wonderful young people and Symone and Eve looked stunning as the retiring queen (Eve) and new queen (Symone).

the bad
I am not sure how to write about the bad. I have been visiting the hospital daily and on most days, twice, seeing my Nan who is not at all well. Fortunately the hospital is just round the corner. We have cried with her and laughed with her but mostly the tears have flowed. Nan is a star you see... when others would have given up she kept going.. caring, helping and was instrumental is establishing Mencap in the North West many many years. She has met the Queen Mother for tea and has told countless stories of challenging the system in relation to Down's Syndrome. She has knitted,sewed and crocheyed countless items to raise money for the society - a gem. I have always had the most tremendous respect and admiration for her so it is heartbreaking to see her ill and so confused.

The smiles come when she recounts where she is at that moment. In the last week, in her mind, she has been to the following places:
a posh wedding (she didn't buy them a present because they were snooty)
London
a lovely village in Wales beginning with P
the theatre to watch two plays about a murder!
Manchester
College.
Her descriptions of the encounters in these places have been amazing and she has certainly enjoyed them. Heartbreaking is her non-recognition of family and friends and hallucinations of relatives no longer with us. We await further results today from her CT scan to see how the mass is progressing .. in the meantime we go with her in her mind's journey and hold her hand.

When I can I will keep updating ......

Please pray

for Helen - for a miracle

Just feeling...

exhausted really. My Nan is in hospital and it is a scary time - yet there are moments of grace when you can draw alongside others. There are other moments when people have astounded me through there thoughfulness .... I am tired though..

Just under two weeks.....until I get a

Is this a first for a probationer?

I am delighted and proud to introduce a new arrival. Named "Jackie" and born on Thursday 5 June at some hefty weight .... All is well - tagged and sorted!! (involving an elastic band). I am just so proud... thanks Jayne and Stephen.... Yes I have guessed half your comments already - just let them fly folks......

Ooops

the other quiz players were a hoot too - Loraine, John, Alan, Gill, John, Pam and Helen....

Quiz night

What a laugh.. well I think so anyway. Our team was quite large in size and we came third though my discourse with the quiz master that Pakistan currency is the Rupee as well as India was met with "the quizmaster is right" except when he is wrong. Of course we are not bitter but we would have come second and been engaged with a tie breaker question for the marvellous bottle of wine prize. Nevertheless, it was a cracking night with a lot of laughter - thanks Jayne and Alison........

Hi

I am starting with another apology as it has been, yet again, some time since I blogged. Life has been hectic and I guess a bit up and down but having the gift of a week off is becoming a good way to find balance again. It is assignment writing time again - a time which excites me for a number of reasons. 1) I learn and research something very new... 2) I find myself with the tidiest cupboards as diversion tactics set in and I look for alternatives to sitting and writing.. escapism is another way of looking at it.

So what else have I been doing. I had a gardening day on Saturday when some gems from church arrived to help dig, paint and make bacon butties - a great day and wonderful chance to have a giggle together. It was strange not to lead worship on Sunday and I spent some time with my nephew and niece - Thomas told me all about his excellent results in his exams (well done Tom - are you reading this?) and also Leah showed me her 4 football trophies. They are both stars....

The rest of the week will consist of quizzing, have lunch and dinner with friends, writing an assignment, gardening and sorting out my knicker drawer (which has everything to do with assignment writing and diversion tactics).. what a week....

Sorry for the absence

I apologise for not writing for a while - there have been a number of reasons for this - what I thought therefore is to show a series of images which sum up the last few weeks and also the emotions.....

Just something different - to make you smile