Advent Meditation - Sunday 29 December

O Come O Come Emmanuel

O Come, O Come, Thou Lord of might,
Who to Thy tribes on Sinai's height
In ancient times did give the law
In cloud, and majesty, and awe.

Readings:
Psalm 118:19-29
Isaiah 40:1-5
Luke 21: 25-36


Reflection

What does it mean to ask and pray that God would come?
“O Come Immanuel” is the cry of our hearts for the Messiah to dwell within our lives. What does it mean to watch and wait for Christ? Do you know how it feels to wait for a friend but they do not come?. Or to wish the time away or be anxious for something to happen and then it does not? Do you know how it is to be with someone so closely that you watch their every move, know their soul and anticipate what they are to say—that you know them so well that when they smile you smile, when they are sad you are downcast and when joyous you rejoice.

May we watch and wait with urgency and anticipation.

Come, O Come Emmanuel.

Prayers
Loving God. As I enter this Advent season, open my eyes
to see in new ways the delight and wonder of your love.
In the darkness help me to see the promise of light and peace.
In the cry of the hungry help me see the possibility of a world where all are fed.
In my own yearnings and weakness help me to see the
hope of Christ.

And in the eager anticipation of the coming of Jesus, may
I embrace the dawn of a new heaven and a new earth. Amen

Further prayers
We pray for all young people and children, our local schools and those involved in youth and children activities in our local churches.

Advent Meditation - Introduction

Introduction
Today begins Advent and with this in mind all within the circuit have been offered this advent booklet as a resource. I hope you will also find the online versions helpful.

I hope you will find meditations a helpful resource over Advent and Christmas. They are designed purely as an aid to help us to draw close to God in the busyness of this particular season. The form of our Advent prayers this year reflect on our desire to seek God the giver of gifts - supremely seen in the gift of Jesus and continual outpouring of the Holy Spirit.
We all have very different lives and our pattern of worship and prayer is as diverse as we all are. This resource is based on both traditional and modern songs and hymns sung during this season, reflecting on a verse or line to help us focus on Christ. You may like to light a candle as a starting point. When God created the heavens and the earth, the first biblically recorded creative act was the
production and establishment of light, our Advent journey is a journey towards
that light – the light of Christ.

Can you pray for others during this time? Remembering particularly those for whom Advent and Christmas bring despair, fear and longing. And could you ask your neighbours if they have any prayer requests?

Could you pray with another person from church once a week during Advent?
Either in person or on the telephone—and perhaps using the booklet together.

For families this could be a special time together? If it is morning you pray for the day ahead. If the evening, then each could give thanks for some aspect of the day and also remember someone they have met.

I pray that this resource may help you on your Advent journey as we contemplate again the overwhelming love and grace of God dawning upon the world.
Jackie Bellfield—Advent 2009

Retreat - home again

Just come back from a wonderful 2 day retreat. Space, stillness, chocolate and wine all contributed to the relaxed nature of the time. Andrew and Wendy Rudd led the retreat so well and allowed through careful planning and exploration a time of peace and restfulness. Both amazingly skilled creative individuals - Andrew - poet, teacher, preacher, composer and musician is skilled at communicating through words, music and imagery. Wendy, a textile artist communicates and ministers God's love through major art installations, and has a capacity in a genuine heartfelt way, to reveal the mystery of God in dramatic ways. So ably led, we looked at various picture and icons - Andrei Rublev's icon of the Trinity, a stained glass image of Abraham and Issac and The Annunciation by Fra Angelico. In our times of stillness we were encouraged to write and reflect on our thoughts:

My reflection on Windows (not the computer version! or the delight of anticipated double glazing)!

I close my eyes and the world around me disappears
I am Silent, Still
Empty

I open my eyes and the world dances to life
I gaze across the grounds
to forest masses
under gray skies of swirling clouds

Windows are for watching
Square pieces of life form ahead
and there i see life
ever changing

The second came after reading Blue Iris by Mary Oliver (see the previous blog entry to view this)

And my heart panics not to be *

to be

to be

to be

to be

be

what does it mean "to be"?

my heart panics
as I do
*Taken from Mary Olivers poem Blue Iris

Blue Iris - Mary Oliver

Wow - what a poem

"Blue Iris" Mary Oliver

Now that I'm free to be myself, who am I?

Can't fly, can't run and see how slowly I walk.

Well, I think, I can read books.

"What's that you're doing?"
the green-headed fly shouts as it buzzes past.

I close the book.

Well, I can write down words, like these, softly.

"What's that you're doing?" whispers the wind, pausing
in a heap just outside the window.

Give me a little time, I say back to its staring, silver face.
It doesn't happen all of a sudden, you know.

"Doesn't it?" says the wind, and breaks open, releasing
distillation of blue iris.

And my heart panics not to be, as I long to be,
the empty, waiting, pure, speechless receptacle.

What is important?

So what is important and crucial in life? Pondering on this it is clear that what is important to me may not make the top ten list for someone else. Acknowledging and recognising that is perhaps crucial in any ministry. Yet what is crucial is how we make others feel. "People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel." Unknown

The Acts of the Apostles describes Barnabas as a 'good man, full of faith and the Holy Spirit'. He was born in Cyprus and died in Salamis in the 1st century. His Jewish parents called him, Joseph, but after selling all his property and joining the apostles in Jerusalem, he got a new name: Barnabas, meaning "a man of encouragement."

In our lives, we all have feelings of weakness and weariness - none of us like these circumstances. We do not enjoy such experiences. These periods of helplessness, powerlessness and vulnerability have removed all our strength and make us prone to despair and self-pity. In the midst of these real experiences, the culture that we live in aggravates the matter. We grew up in a culture where criticism is the rule. We have been traumatised by criticism. Even if we grew up in a very encouraging family, the world outside of our homes does not have encouragement as a way of life.

When we encourage, we do not have to be gushing about another. Or to be too patronising. Encouragement is a sincere affirmation. When we criticise, we look for what is negative and find it so easy to give others the benefit of our opinion. On the other hand, encouragement is seeing what is positive and good and expressing it as readily as the tendency to criticise that is always with us. Criticism is the fastest way to stop another person from doing wrong; encouragement is the fastest way to make another person expand their good work.

Encouragement is remembering. You see, when a good thing has happened like a little improvement or a small change, when we express them as words of encouragement, the little development becomes fixed in the mind of the listener, and thus the likelihood of repeated success becomes greater. It makes a person take the next step to a new additional process of growth.
Barnabas did the same thing. He encouraged and thus he built communities of faith. We are built-up by a culture of trust and of consolation. We need a new culture in the world of positive reinforcement. With encouragement, we seek what is more. After all, we were made, not to destroy, but to build people.

Love abounding more and more

Today at our staff time of worship I read Philippians 1 reminding all gathered of the truth of the words "that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight". What is this love - Love for God, our neighbour, ourselves? This can be a hard challenge and today, with varying emotions, I have wrestled with.

So with those emotions swelling up inside I sat a listened to a beautiful song by Keith & Kristyn Getty - new words to a familiar song. Believe me this was saving grace today.

What grace is mine that He who dwells in endless light
Called through the night to find my distant soul
And from his scars poured mercy that would plead for me
That I might live and in his name be known

So I will go wherever He is calling me
I lose my life to find my life in Him
I give my all to gain the hope that never dies
I bow my heart, take up my cross and follow Him

What grace is mine to know His breath alive in me
Beneath his wings my wakened soul may soar
All fear can flee for death's dark night is overcome
My Saviour lives and reigns forevermore

So I will go…

(to the tune londonderry air - or danny boy as it is also known)

It has been a while........

I am starting to feel the itch to blog again. It might or might not be a regular thing, but at least I think I can start posting some new material here.

So why the gap? Partly a busy summer and yet a bigger part was knowing what to share and what not too if that makes any sense. There has been the intense joys over the last few months but also the moments of questioning and today was the day I thought I would begin the blogging expedition again.

Yet today.. after a few days with a bug and feeling increasingly disappointed with a few things I thought why not put pen to paper - or rather cursor to screen.

Is the theme and subject of disappointment something we avoid or minimise? After all we do have our hope in God. One thing that is common to all humankind is suffering and disappointment. Perhaps all of us have suffered varying degrees of heartache, but certainly all of us have known what it is like to be downtrodden and disappointed. So the question for the Christian is not if suffering and disappointment will come, but rather how will we respond when it inevitably knocks on our door? And what happens when it does - do we paint on our perma-grin like a clothing accessory and join in the chorus of the faithful with the liturgical response "I'm fine" when asked the quesiton of how we are. Are we given permission to speak out in truth to another to verbalise our frustrations and our fears?

I think we have to first recognize that suffering and tragedy are a central theme in the Bible. We don’t have to look further than Jesus to figure that out. When we ignore this fact, then we don’t know how to help each other. We end up giving each other pat answers and trite religious expressions that not only offer no comfort whatsoever but really make things worse.

So then how are we to respond? What is God’s answer? I think there’s only one place we can find comfort, and that’s in the sovereignty of our God. God is in control and for that I am eternally grateful. Please forgive me I am not being trite or pious it has just worked for me again and again and again. So when i cry, scream and shout at the heavens then there is peace because in giving I receive and then my shouts turn into praise.

When I am disappointed God is near.

When I struggle God does not.
When I am weak God is strong.

Just been thinking

Well I have been thinking..... hence the picture of the coggs - could not find one with coggs and smoke. I am leading worship tomorrow for our staff gathering - we meet each week and have worship together. I have been led to think about encouragement and considered Psalm 100:3

"Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture."

I heard this story once - A school teacher recounted the times when sometimes the young students would have a quarrel amongst themselves, one would inevitably come running to her crying “So and so called me stupid!” The clever teacher would always reply, “Well — are you stupid?” Without fail, that little red-faced, button-nosed three or four year old would ponder for a moment, shrug back, look up at her and timidly say no. Well, okay then — so go and play! And just like that, the quarrel was over and playtime would resume as if nothing happened.

We need to take a lesson from those little students we need to remember who we are! We’re not stupid — we’re not ugly — we’re not defeated — we’re not useless!
On the contrary! We are fearfully and wonderfully made! We are loved and cared for dearly! We’re victorious! We have a divine purpose and calling to fulfill today!
Let’s not allow anyone to dictate who or what we are! God has already made it very clear who we are — loved, cherished and adored........ so there.... God bless

Is it help I am nearly forty?

Is it really help I am nearly forty? You know I am not so sure. No disrespect to those of friends of mine who are over 40 - you look great. But it feels really weird. If 50 is the new thirty then I must be 20....... what do you reckon?

Why it is weird I don't know. Has life turned out as I expected? As the exit door to my thirites approach what does it mean? 40 isn't really so bad except for the small fact that now I have got to be 40.

So I thought I know I'll look at Psalm 40 but the words "but I am poor and needy" jumped out and it didn't really help. So back to the drawing board and for a short time there was the consolation that my twin is also 40, though of course she reminds me that I am 7 minutes older than her.

There are of course some good things about being 40 (originally I had typed thongs which if you know me maybe inappropriate) it's just they take sometime to come to mind.

I will think though even more over the next week and a half until the day itself..... is it time for a change.

I think it is. I think it’s time for change that I can believe in. I think I am the change that I have been waiting for.

God in a box?

A small boy was at home with his Mum after coming home from Sunday school. Sat at the table he looked around the kitchen.

“Mum, today we learned that God is everywhere. Is that right?” “Yes, my love” said his Mum “God is everywhere.”

“So he is in the car?” “Yes Son”
“And in the house?” – “yes”
“And in the kitchen” – “yes love” said his mum wondering where he was going with this one. “God is everywhere”
“Hmm..” said the small boy as he got up. He moved towards the fridge and opened the door “is God in the fridge?”. Not quite sure what to say his mum said “Yes” so the boy quickly shut the door and said “got him.”

I was thinking about this over the weekend but over the last few days my thinking has taken a different turn. In exploring my own relationship with God and the revelation of God to us and our ability to understand God I wondered if God has put him/herself in a box? God has given us knowledge, both through Creation and through the Scriptures, but this is not complete knowledge - it is only and exactly what we need to know about God. We are told no more than we need and no less than considered beneficial.

Whenever we study God, we need to acknowledge that God defines the limits of our study. If we wish to know God truly, we must be willing to allow God to reveal to us what God wants us to know, with the freedom as to how it is revealed. Whilst we have a treasure trove we do not know everything – such is the mystery.

I guess God is not in a box – as surely our relationship changes with our context and the fluidity of God’s love seeps through anything which attempts to confine it.

We have the scripture to allow us to attempt to understand, but how far can our finite minds understand an infinite God. God is revealed through scripture in a way we attempt to understand. How can our language define the indefinable – how can our finite language do justice to what is infinite. There are no adequate words but what a delight that through a spirit of humility we can approach God’s word though always remembering there is so much more - “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9).

In Psalm 131 David affirms that there are some things that He can never understand. “O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me.” David’s response is important. “But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.”
May we be quiet, be still and know our God. For the infinite God revealed himself in Jesus and we can have confidence that “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5)

Is God in a box? That depends? Where have you placed God?

Meetings..meetings..meetings

“Without wavering, let us hold tightly to the hope we say we have, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. Think of ways to encourage one another to outbursts of love and good deeds. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other, especially now that the day of his coming back again is drawing near.” Hebrews 10:23 - 25


I have been thinking alot about meetings and of course the variety of them. Part of this thought process was stimulated by a work experience student who was considerably surprised by the number of meetings we attend... so this led me to think. Firstly, our meetings should be worship by that worthy of God. We gather at a meeting in order to hold tightly to the hope God has promised us. Meetings should be used to encourage one another to outbursts of love and good deeds. The idea is not to stop meetings but rather to use meetings as a source of encouragement, an opportunity for teaching and especially a call to Godly action. Somehow perhaps I have missing the point.

Before any meeting I have started to contemplate the following:

Is God invited? This is about priorities. More than a perfunctory prayer or devotion, this question is a spiritual challenge: Are we vigorously seeking to follow Gods will?

Do you know where you’re going? This is about organization. What will you accomplish? Is there a clear agenda to follow? Are you prepared to answer reasonable questions?

Are the committee members with you? This is about communication. Does the committee have enough information? Is everyone participating in a healthy and creative discussion?

Will the meeting end with smiles or frowns? This is about encouragement. Does the meeting end with the anticipation we are following God’s will for our church?

And of course is there cake and coffee for no other reason that hospitality is a gift in which we share with one another.. What do you think?

Oh Thomas - the doubter

I so identify with the disciple Thomas. Is it because we are both twins? Is it the doubting? The questioning? I don't know what it is but I am right there with him. "My Lord and My God........."


Everyone but me,
where was I?
that I should miss this grace?
My grief,
I could not be consoled by the others
it drove me to the streets
to the edge of the city
to the temple
to find my twin for understanding
hoping for a sign.

What did Jesus say?
What did Jesus promise?
Healing so many and yet this has to be so.
I feel a little betrayed - YOU promised.
Maybe Judas understood more than me, more than the others.
Are we wrong?

I couldn't stand there at the cross,
to watch as my hope was destroyed.
I shrank into a corner of deep despair and heard your words
"My God.. My God,, why have you forsaken me..."
"It is finished"

How can I trust, how can I believe?
The others say they have seen you.
"Peace," they say. "He is alive."
I merge from the shadow and seek the proof I desire
They scorn me for that - but did they always believe? Or did they need to see?
Why is more asked of me?
I need to see--no, I need to touch
I need to hear your voice again
speaking to me---to ME.

They call me the doubter, ME
but didn't they all doubt at some point?
Peter on water? Philip with the loaves
counting away wondering how all can be fed.

God I've made mistakes, too many mistakes
and if it is true all I can count on is your forgiveness
"My Lord and My God"

Contemplation of Easter

On Thursday metal thrown onto the table. Try and imagine the noise of 30 pieces of silver and 3 nails as they clattered on table and over the floor.

Metal - one a payment to Judas the other a payment for us.

On Friday - three denials, three crosses, three nails and the threefold love of God -Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Reflecting on Maundy Thursday and Good Friday

Maundy Thursday and Good Friday in the Central Partnership has been challenging and emotional. There are so many dramatic events throughout Holy Week for us to consider. It began on Sunday with the Triumphal Entry, the cleansing of the temple, teaching on a variety of subjects, and leads to eating with friends and then crucifixion. The Last Supper is key to setting up the events to follow. Among other things, the Last Supper was Jesus’ last opportunity to directly minister to his disciples before his death and resurrection. So what did Jesus teach at this final gathering?

The Gospel of John goes into the most detail about the Last Supper, spending five chapters recounting Jesus’ words and actions that evening (more than he does describing the rest of the Easter story!).

What stands out the most in that story? For many readers, Jesus’ washing of the disciples’ feet is the most striking event in the entire account. So on Thursday gathered in the upper hall at Bold Street we remembered. We sang, chatted, ate and drank together, hands were washed and we remembered. Leaving the building in darkness we met at Latchford the following morning.

It was Oswald Chambers who once observed that drudgery is the truest test of genuine character. Foot washing was a lowly job, an oft-recurring job due to sandals and dusty streets—a job for a servant. But here, the menial task was instead performed by the master, their teacher—the Son of God.

And the influential truth of Christ’s identity is that He still does what is analogous to washing soiled feet: our deepest sorrows He feels, our sorriest actions He accepts, our smallest prayers He hears—our every transgression He forgives, our dusty, tired hearts He washes.

And so on Friday we meet at the foot of the cross. We heard the story, sang the familiar hymns, reflected and cared for each other. What did we remember? Jesus is on his way toward the Cross. His disciples have fled and he is alone. Alone to face the wrath of the Roman Empire and the fury of the crowd. Alone and feeling abandoned by God. Yet not alone for all of humanity walks with him. We stumble and fall as he did. We are abused and spat upon. We feel despised and rejected - by ourselves, by others, by our world. Free us from our prisons and bring us new life

God who created us suffers because of us
God who died upon the cross suffers for us
God who dwells with us suffers with us
And in God’s suffering we find hope

God, you suffering brings us salvation
Without you the horrors of human suffering would be unbearable
Your story of life, death and resurrection gives life meaning
Your suffering frees us from our prisons

May we live this day in the knowledge of your pain
May we live this day in the assurance of your love
May we live this day in the hope of the resurrection.

Grace and Blessing

May I walk this day
in the company of grace,
walking with You
my feet firmly on your path,
my heart loving all,
my words and deeds alive with justice.

May I walk as blessing,
meeting blessing upon blessing at every turn
in every challenge, may there be blessing,
in all opposition, may there be blessing,
in harm’s way, may there be blessing.

May I walk each step in this moment of grace,
alert to hear You
and awake enough to say
a simple Yes.